The Kirk Hinrich accessories timeline

, on November 1, 2013 , 4:08PM

kirk-hinrich-accessory-10-years

 

Last night seemed to be the tipping point for something I’ve been tracking for years — the wild proliferation of accessories that Chicago Bulls guard Kirk Hinrich has been wearing as of late. I guess that’s what happens when he wears full sleeves on three of his four limbs.

 

But it hasn’t always been like this. Back when he first started in the league, Kirk was just a simple, no-frills kind of player. So let’s jump back a decade and see how Kirk Hinrich turned from no accessories to rocking a backup dancer suit under his uniform.

 

This is the Kirk Hinrich accessories timeline.

 

kirk-hinrich-2003-no-accessories

 

Year: 2003

Visible accessories: None

Limbs accessorized: 0 (of four).

Additional accessories information: Back in the day, Kirk Hinrich couldn’t have looked more Iowan. These were simpler times.

 

kirk-hinrich-2006-elbow-pad

 

Year: 2006

Visible accessories: Right elbow pad

Limbs accessorized: 1

Additional accessories information: It took three years for Hinrich’s first accessory to show up on court. It was short-lived, as Hinrich went back to bare arms shortly thereafter.

 

kirk-hinrich-2006-right-leg-sleeve

 

Year: 2006

Visible accessories: Right leg sleeve

Limbs accessorized: 1

Additional accessories information: It was during his stint with Team USA that Kirk Hinrich had his first real taste of neoprene. Maybe it was playing with superstar accessorizers like LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony that made this come about, but I don’t think anyone could have imagined this summer’s long-lasting consequences.

 

kirk-hinrich-2007-leg-sleeve

 

Year: 2007

Visible accessories: Right leg sleeve

Limbs accessorized: 1

Additional accessories information: As you can see, Hinrich also had his fingers taped occasionally back then, but that doesn’t count for this. It should also be noted that it wasn’t just a right leg sleeve that Kirk was wearing, as he would occasionally change things up and wear the same sleeve on his left leg.

 

kirk-hinrich-2008-double-leg-sleeve

 

Year: 2008

Visible accessories: Double leg sleeves

Limbs accessorized: 2

Additional accessories information: Just like in his original dalliance with a leg sleeve, the two sleeves were not locked in. Hinrich would switch between two sleeves, one sleeve on either leg and sometimes even no sleeves.

 

kirk-hinrich-2009-wrist-tape

 

Year: 2009

Visible accessories: None

Limbs accessorized: 0

Additional accessories information: Kirk has his wrist taped here. And while I said finger tape didn’t count, this became such a thing for Hinrich that I had to include it. Also note — no other accessories. Back to basics.

 

kirk-hinrich-2009-wrist-tape-leg-sleeve

 

Year: 2009

Visible accessories: Right leg and knee sleeve

Limbs accessorized: 1

Additional accessories information: This is the first time we saw such a fully-covered limb from Captain Kirk. It would become a theme. And yes, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, these leg sleeves weren’t permanent, as they would switch sides and sometimes disappear altogether.

 

kirk-hinrich-2009-ankle-brace-wrist-tape

 

Year: 2009

Visible accessories: Right ankle brace

Limbs accessorized: 1

Additional accessories information: No leg sleeves, but Hinrich has an ankle brace on, so we have to mention it. Wrist tape’s still there too.

 

kirk-hinrich-2009-left-arm-sleeve

 

Year: 2009

Visible accessories: Left arm sleeve

Limbs accessorized: 1

Additional accessories information: There it is — our first full arm sleeve! Finally. You’ll be seeing a lot of this going forward, as Kirk would switch sleeve arms from time to time, while also going with no sleeves at all when he was feeling particularly quick. He’s weird like that.

 

kirk-hinrich-2010-right-arm-and-leg-sleeve

 

Year: 2010

Visible accessories: Right leg sleeve, right arm sleeve

Limbs accessorized: 2

Additional accessories information: Now we’re talking. Things are getting progressively more spandexed, as this is the most accessorized we’d see Hinrich during his first stint with the Bulls. Again, this wasn’t permanent, since the leg sleeve soon disappeared, followed quickly by the arms going bare as well.

 

kirk-hinrich-2010-right-arm-wizards

 

Year: 2010

Visible accessories: Right arm sleeve

Limbs accessorized: 1

Additional accessories information: Did you remember Kirk Hinrich was a Wizard? He was. And he wore an arm sleeve.

 

kirk-hinrich-2011-right-arm-lower-leg-goggles

 

Year: 2011

Visible accessories: Right arm sleeve, right leg sleeve, goggles

Limbs accessorized: 2 (plus eyes)

Additional accessories information: The goggles became a staple for Hinrich, as they’d follow him from stop-to-stop from here on out. But that’s about all that was consistent, as Hinrich would play games with nothing on the legs, some with nothing on the arms, and some where he wore a full leg sleeve rather than just that little one.

 

kirk-hinrich-2011-right-sleeve-right-leg-low-left-leg-goggles

 

Year: 2011

Visible accessories: Full right leg sleeve, small left leg sleeve, right arm sleeve, goggles

Limbs accessorized: 3 (plus eyes)

Additional accessories information: Atlanta was a strange time for Kirk, accessories-wise. Here you see his first three-limbed accessories maneuver, but Hinrich also played more than a few games with no accessories — save for the now-standard goggles — and it just feels like he was trying to find his true neoprene self.

 

kirk-hinrich-2012-double-leg-sleeves-goggles

 

Year: 2012

Visible accessories: Full double leg sleeves, goggles

Limbs accessorized: 2 (plus eyes)

Additional accessories information: After leaving the Bulls as a generally accessory-free bro, once he returned in 2012, he was deep in the accessories game. The goggles-plus-leg sleeves became Kirk’s default look, and considering what he wore when he started, this was quite strange.

 

kirk-hinrich-2012-three-sleeves-and-goggles

 

Year: 2012

Visible accessories: Full double leg sleeves, left arm sleeve, goggles

Limbs accessorized: 3 (plus eyes)

Additional accessories information: Kirk Hinrich must have bought stock in neoprene sometime during the season, because look at this guy. At this point, there was less visible skin on his body than clothing. Wowsers.

 

kirk-hinrich-2013-full-sleeve-and-legs-and-goggles

 

Year: 2013

Visible accessories: Full double leg sleeves, full right arm sleeve including shoulder cover, goggles

Limbs accessorized: 3 (plus eyes)

Additional accessories information: This is just insane. He’s wearing a one-sleeved catsuit under a basketball jersey. Isn’t this the sweatiest thing possible? Not to mention, his laundry costs must be astronomical. The only way he could be wearing more sleeves is if he added something to his left arm, which I have to imagine that even Kirk Hinrich thinks is overload.

 

Of course, that means he’ll probably throw one on for the Bulls’ next game. And when that happens, come on back to The Starters for a full breakdown.

37 Responses to “The Kirk Hinrich accessories timeline”

  1. Ethan R. says:

    This is definitely the darkest timeline

  2. dr. dunkenstein says:

    Funny stuff.

  3. Stephen says:

    He should get credit for the rubber band he appears to be wearing circa 2007-2010?

  4. Patrick O'Sullivan says:

    Wow, what an amazing and comprehensive post…

  5. kate says:

    It’s vaguely ridiculous but entirely entertaining posts like this that make me love y’all.

  6. charles oakley mattress world says:

    sweet converse kicks kirk! (say that ten times fast)

  7. Finn says:

    He looks like some guy’s My Player from 2K.

  8. The Festus and the Furious says:

    Is this a new internet record for article with the most use of the word “accessory” and its derivatives? I’m counting 66.

  9. C.J. says:

    This is why The Starters are the best ever. Trey, killing it as always. “Must have bought stock in neoprene” and “one armed catsuit” were hilarious

  10. Sausages says:

    Are there league rules about what color sleeves/tights you can wear with each jersey? Surprised he and Butler went red on red on red.

  11. RottenAtom says:

    This article exposes Hinrich’s extremely weak shoe game.

  12. Dr. Feelgood says:

    slow news day?

  13. KamilG225 says:

    I’m pretty sure if you’re going to do a Kirk Hinrich accessory story, then it’s only right to do a “LeBron James Headband Timeline”

  14. SJHBass says:

    That last setup is intimidating. It also looks like he’s a character from the matrix.

  15. kilo says:

    Thats what happen when you play with Rose

  16. Jack says:

    I think his accessories are all injury related. That’s why you see them “switch sides and disappear at times”. You can actually mark each with an injury.

  17. Jack says:

    I believe all of his accessories are injury related. Hence they “switch sides and sometimes disappear altogether”.

  18. alejandro says:

    Kirk Hinrich!!!! the best combo guard ever!

  19. Squabbit says:

    He still needs to work on his sneakers…….

  20. Ventruck says:

    I know the full sleeve is because of a shoulder injury. Otherwise I think the rest is just him deciding on extra protect because he does get scrappy. I’d pretty much do the same.

  21. My Fancy has officially been tickled says:

    I want to be as cool as he is when i grow up

  22. Axl T says:

    I wonder if he could back in time if he’d wear the same accessories all over again?

  23. Dan says:

    This is so stupid. Satire or not, 90% of the “accessories” Kirk and other players wear are for injury or injury prevention reasons.

  24. leroy says:

    who cares

  25. JB says:

    Look at all of that heads up dribbling. Remember kids, keep those eyes up!

  26. […] It’s why athletes eat the same meals before every game, or tie their shoes a certain way, or wear all manner of sometimes-needed pads or sleeves. Players are looking to feel comfortable and confident, and a lucky team handshake or pregame iPod […]

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  28. […] Near the end of the first half he got popped in the nose and had to leave the game with blood streaming down his face. He came back in the 2nd half with a band-aid on his nose to add to his ever-growing accessories. […]

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  32. […] Near the end of the first half he got popped in the nose and had to leave the game with blood streaming down his face. He came back in the 2nd half with a band-aid on his nose to add to his ever-growing accessories. […]

  33. […] Near the end of the first half he got popped in the nose and had to leave the game with blood streaming down his face. He came back in the 2nd half with a band-aid on his nose to add to his ever-growing accessories. […]

  34. […] Near the end of the first half he got popped in the nose and had to leave the game with blood streaming down his face. He came back in the 2nd half with a band-aid on his nose to add to his ever-growing accessories. […]

  35. […] Near the end of the first half he got popped in the nose and had to leave the game with blood streaming down his face. He came back in the 2nd half with a band-aid on his nose to add to his ever-growing accessories. […]

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