It has been a while since we’ve been treated to a hilarious quote from Dwyane Wade about his personal style. And really, that’s too bad, since his glasses, toe nail polish and pink pants explanations were choice zingers, whether they were intentional or not.
But that’s why today is such a great day. Dwyane Wade is BACK and he’s talking pants. From GQ:
GQ: Do you remember the first time you thought: “I finally get this fashion thing?”
Wade: When I was young I was always looking at how my dad dressed and how my uncle dressed, and thought, “I can’t wait until I get old and I can dress.” But it didn’t really take on the way I wanted it to until about 2008. That’s when I started feeling comfortable wearing what I wanted to wear. That’s when I shedded the big clothes and I went to the kind of Euro look. I had to get adjusted to sitting down in tighter pants, but I’m used to it now. You’ve just got to sit down a little different, you’ve gotta slide down, you can’t just plop.
There you have it, tight pants fans — don’t plop, just slide. Sound advice, I’d say, since the only thing more embarrassing than being a guy who has to slide in to his seat is being a guy whose pants exploded because he didn’t slide in to his seat.
Of course, now that we’ve read this, it’s going to be one of those things that you pay attention to all the time. And since Dwyane Wade misses a lot of games and wears a lot of tight pants, there are going to be ample opportunities for us to spot Wade sliding in to his seat so that he doesn’t rip his pants. Sounds thrilling, I know, but it’ll be worth it for the time he accidentally slides too far and ends up on the floor, unable to get up because he can’t bend his legs on account of his pants being too tight. Trust me on this one.