The NBA Global Games tipped off earlier this week, with the Spurs losing their world championship belt to Alba Berlin on a buzzer-beater in a game that was actually hotly contested. As such, the team was in Germany with a little time to explore Berlin. And that’s when our pal, Matt Bonner, did what any NBA player would do — throw on some cords and hit the streets for some frolicking.
Now, from careful research, it appears Bonner was lucky enough to enjoy two separate frolics: a street frolic and a water frolic. The details of these two frolics follow.
The Street Frolic
Attire: Navy crewneck, brown corduroys, some grey and red adidas that I’m pretty sure say “Red Mamba” on them, bike helmet (for safety).
Activities: Biking, posing on bike, signing autographs, stopping in the park to eat a sandwich.
The Water Frolic
Attire: Black crewneck, grey Spurs pants, those same “Red Mamba” adidas, sailor hat (for laughs).
Activities: Strolling, gazing, listening to Yacht Rock playlists, yelling “Land Ho!” a bunch, sandwiches at sea.
What can we learn from these two frolics? Well, for one, it’s always important to have the right headwear when you’re frolicking. Sometimes you’re going for safety, sometimes you’re going for style. Either way, make sure to cover your head.
And secondly is the Joey Tribbiani Rule: it’s never a bad idea to pack a sandwich, because you never know when you’re going to need it. Take care of those two things and you’re good to go, even if you are 6-foot-10 NBA player.
For reasons that will eventually come apparent, earlier today I was looking for a picture of Manu Ginobili with his right shoulder a little bit towards the camera but still facing straight ahead. I’ve been in the blog game for a minute now, so I did what I always do when I’m trying to find a head for a Photoshop — pop in to the Getty Images database and search for the player’s Media Day pictures. And that’s when I discovered it.
Manu Ginobili is not an ambiturner. He’s a uniturner.
As if you need it, a quick refresher course on the ambiturner.
So yes, a uniturner (the opposite of an ambiturner) is a person who can only turn one direction. Just like Zoolander, Manu only turns right, always pushing his left shoulder forward for Media Day headshots.
I already know what you’re thinking — we’ve seen Manu Ginobili do all kinds of wobbly leg spinnish style moves going both ways for a long time, bro. That’s true, but further investigations have shown that “uniturning” only affects the afflicted during modeling sessions. Maybe it’s a psychological thing, maybe it’s a “this is my good side” thing. Beats me, but I didn’t get in to medical school.
But what I did get in to, as I mentioned earlier, was the Getty Images database and that’s where I made my discovery. I’m now going to show you every slightly-turned headshot image in the entire gallery available to my subscription along with links back to the source images so that you can see it’s true.
How did I what? Spend my summer vacation?
(long sigh) OK, fine.
Reading. Grilling. Swimming. Taking walks. Working on cars. Installed a new OS. Got my hands on some new Punisher comics. Jogging. Went to a Jimmy Buffett concert. Bought some Tommy Bahama shirts. Actually wore them to the concert, but I’m sure you guessed that.
Ummm … anything else? (long pause) I’m thinking.
Sealed the blacktop in my driveway. Grew some peppers. Started watching “The Big Bang Theory” from the first episode, finishing the last season this week so I’ll be caught up for the new episodes. Bought some stationary.
(sighs) I don’t know. Just boring stuff.
Why are we doing this again? No one cares what I did.
Having fun and eating giant meals are two of my all-time favorite things, so you can imagine how much fun I had a Game 5 of the 2014 Finals. And if you can’t imagine, just watch the videos.
Been wondering where Manu Ginobili got those exploding shoes or how excited everyone was when Matt Bonner switched from New Balance to adidas? Lucky for you, I got inside the Spurs’ locker room and got the scoop.
OK, this is just weird. Well, the first time it happened, during last season, it was weird.
So if the first time was weird, that makes the fact that it happened a second time completely befuddling. How do you fake a free throw? How does it happen twice? And how can one man be responsible for both fakes? It’s almost incomprehensible, so if you have an explanation, please let me know.
As much as I was a fan of the Manu Ginobili-Boris Diaw covert dunk contest, after seeing Ginobili tweak a hamstring throwing down a quality one-hander, maybe they should call it off. The Spurs are injured enough as it is — they can’t risk another injury by having these old guys dunk all over the place.
You know how it is — you get a little older, but still feel great and think you can do the same stuff you used to be able to, only when you do it, your body explodes. That’s basically how I feel every morning, and that’s without gunning for another NBA title at age 36.
So maybe there should be a dunking license, where you have to pass a series of tests in order to still be allowed to dunk. I know that sounds extreme, but I just want the Spurs as healthy as possible during the playoffs. If you have a better idea, leave it in the comments.
(via Eye On Basketball)