As a bro who once legitimately owned a pair of Toon Squad shorts and would practice sixth grade basketball in them, the fact that the recently-relaunched Starter brand is bringing back authentic “Space Jam” gear — well, as “authentic” as cartoon memorabilia can be — has me very excited. Nothing more exciting than nostalgia.
However, as a bro who hates getting multiple emails about a modern day “Space Jam” every time we ask for submissions to use on The Starters’ mailbox episodes, this is the worst. Will we ever be able to free ourselves from the grasps of this movie that isn’t nearly as fun to watch as everyone remembers? I fear we won’t and that bums me out.
But it’s 2014 and we’re keeping things mad positive, so like McDonald’s, I’m loving it. Can’t wait to cop a Shawn Bradley Monstars jersey and that slick-as-can-be Tune Squad warmup. Shoutout to 1996.
Usually I am only a moderate fan of auto-tuned sing-song kind-of rapping, but then Kanye West comes along and does an auto-tuned rant about Michael Jordan’s ill-fated stint with the Wizards while in the United Center and now I am 100 percent in. In fact, this just might be my all-time favorite Kanye West song, now that I’m really thinking about it. Sorry “Drive Slow,” but when a Chicagoan legit sings something that every Bulls fan has thought at some point, it’s time for a replacement. Those really were the best years of our life, I too believed I could fly and wanted to be like Mike, so this is officially my new favorite song, full stop. Thank you for speak-singing truth to power, Kanye. Realest stuff he’s ever said.
When I woke up this morning and started writing about Gilbert Arenas and Nick Young taking video of each other while driving down the freeway, I thought that would be the most dangerous NBA thing I encountered for the day. Turns out I was wrong, because “All Wifed Out” is a movie that centers around throwing a bachelor party so crazy that Metta World Peace is in attendance. That, my friends, is the kind of thing that can make a simple high-speed Instagram seem sensible.
The movie releases in theaters and on iTunes on November 15, and it stars comedy legends such as Marc Maron, Eve and Dustin Diamond, who you probably know best as Screech from “Saved by the Bell” or maybe as Screech from “Saved by the Bell: The New Class.” And while it looks like MWP just has a cameo as himself, maybe this will do for his acting career what a similar role in “The Hangover” did for Mike Tyson. Which is to say, play off his rep as being crazy, leading to more roles where he plays himself acting crazy. That’s basically a career path these days, and if we’ve learned anything from season four of “Eastbound & Down,” it’s always good to have a fallback plan to stay famous.