Sean Elliott said he sees a wedgie once every two years, during the very same weekend where we saw three of them. Either he’s not paying attention or the Spurs and their opponents have some very un-sticky shots.
Earlier this season, we saw Marcin Gortat tear a towel in half using nothing but his bare hands and pure brawn. Around the world, people swooned. Because it wasn’t just a simple display of strength, it was also hysterical. It was a once in a lifetime kind of moment, the kind you’re lucky to catch once, let alone ever see again.
Unless you’re Marcin Gortat, of course. With him, it’s a regular occurrence. From ESPN:
Do you remember ripping that towel earlier this season in Toronto?
Yeah, I remember.
Was that your first towel rip?
Oh, naw, that was probably my millionth towel rip. I’ve ripped a lot of towels. Especially sometimes after the game, and we’re about to take showers, and we don’t have any washcloths, so we’re just ripping one towel in little pieces and obviously they’re throwing me towels to rip.
I was just pissed. I remember that game, I was pissed. I was pissed because I missed some easy layups at the basket and I should dunk the ball. Then I miss easy layups, and then I get some dumb calls and bad fouls, and that’s all, I was just pissed. Frustrated.
A million towel rips? ONE MILLION TOWEL RIPS? That’s crazy talk. Not only am I skeptical that one man could rip a towel a million times, I have an even harder time believing that he’d remember every single one of them. Something tells me this is an exaggeration of sorts.
However, having seen him tear a towel like he did against the Raptors, I’m inclined to believe him. It was pretty easy, and it certainly makes sense why he would be the designated towel ripper in the Wizards’ locker room. If he can tear through terry cloth like a 6-year-old on Christmas, then why would anyone waste any of their own time trying to turn a towel in to some washcloths? (Additional question: why do the Wizards sometimes not have washcloths? Odd.)(Additional question about that question: do NBA teams not give visiting teams washcloths? If so, that’s some weird psychological warfare, but I like it.)
Oh also, he’d be cool with the NBA allowing fighting.
Any rule changes that you think would help the NBA game? For instance, sometimes they talk about instituting FIBA goaltending rules in the NBA. Any thoughts on that or any other changes that would help the game play?
The goaltending? It definitely wouldn’t help. You have too many athletic guys in this league that would tip the ball out of the rim, so pretty much to make a basket you will need to swish it, you know what I’m saying?
I would say I would loosen up a little bit the rules about the fighting fines. That’s what I would loosen up. Because today you go to an ice hockey game, and the one thing they’re waiting for is a fight, you know what I’m saying? So if they could set it up something like that in the NBA. That if there are two guys and they have a problem, if they could just separate everybody. And these two people that have problem, if they could fight …
During the game?
During the game. Quick, 15-20 seconds, throw few punches, then referees jump in and break this thing up. I think the game … these two guys, they resolved their problem. They’re both suspended and they’re leaving. But end of the day, they fix the problem between each other, fans are super excited, and I think that would be a pretty cool idea [chuckles].
You’d need bigger refs. You couldn’t have Dick Bavetta out there.
At some point when the referees jump in, then you’d have to stop. You’d have to stop. So I think that would be a great idea, just like the ice hockey fans waiting for that, that’s would NBA fans would get into as well.
You know, he has a point. If the choice is between goaltending or legalized face-punching, you’re going to want to go with the face-punching. Otherwise, like Gortat says, the game is going to get too ugly, since no one is going to be able to score with all that basket interference. Allowing fights is obviously the way to go if you’re looking to help the NBA. Duh.
Besides, the two angry, gigantic men are totally going to stop when a 60-year-old ref tells them to stop. Fool-proof idea.
On Monday’s live episode of The Starters, the guys pick their NBA weekend winners (Joakim Noah, Rockets, wedgies) and losers (Pacers, Jay Triano, shoes) before discussing whether Phil Jackson can save the New York Knicks.
Shoutout: This is going to sound like a joke, but I promise you it is true — Jodie Meeks scored 42 points to lead the Lakers to a thrilling victory over the Thunder. Again, I repeat, every word of the previous sentence is one hundred percent accurate. Please adjust the limits of your imagination.
Not so much: It’s incredibly rare to be able to feature LeBron James here — and a 17-9-8 line with three steals and a block doesn’t really qualify — but he went 8-23 from the field, had four turnovers and didn’t shoot a free throw in a game for the first time since December 2, 2009, so we’ll take our chances when we can get them. It’s only fair.
Daddy day care: Joakim Noah’s father, Yannick, was around to watch the Bulls win yesterday. He was very excited.
Then later, following a Joakim block, Yannick got his Dikembe Mutombo on. Needless to say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.