If you’re in to weird role playing by a bunch of bobbleheads, then today is your lucky day, as we debut the very first installation of our new series “As the Ball Turns.” This time out, a whole bunch of former Celtics talk out their problems.
I don’t know what I think is the funniest part of this — that the Jazz made such a thing in the first place, the video itself or the fact that even his own team knows that so few people cared about Marvin Williams’ return from a foot injury that they can make a video out of it and get a laugh. Probably a three-way tie, now that I’m having a chance to really break this thing down. Good stuff, Jazzers.
It has been a while since we’ve been treated to a hilarious quote from Dwyane Wade about his personal style. And really, that’s too bad, since his glasses, toe nail polish and pink pants explanations were choice zingers, whether they were intentional or not.
But that’s why today is such a great day. Dwyane Wade is BACK and he’s talking pants. From GQ:
GQ: Do you remember the first time you thought: “I finally get this fashion thing?”
Wade: When I was young I was always looking at how my dad dressed and how my uncle dressed, and thought, “I can’t wait until I get old and I can dress.” But it didn’t really take on the way I wanted it to until about 2008. That’s when I started feeling comfortable wearing what I wanted to wear. That’s when I shedded the big clothes and I went to the kind of Euro look. I had to get adjusted to sitting down in tighter pants, but I’m used to it now. You’ve just got to sit down a little different, you’ve gotta slide down, you can’t just plop.
There you have it, tight pants fans — don’t plop, just slide. Sound advice, I’d say, since the only thing more embarrassing than being a guy who has to slide in to his seat is being a guy whose pants exploded because he didn’t slide in to his seat.
Of course, now that we’ve read this, it’s going to be one of those things that you pay attention to all the time. And since Dwyane Wade misses a lot of games and wears a lot of tight pants, there are going to be ample opportunities for us to spot Wade sliding in to his seat so that he doesn’t rip his pants. Sounds thrilling, I know, but it’ll be worth it for the time he accidentally slides too far and ends up on the floor, unable to get up because he can’t bend his legs on account of his pants being too tight. Trust me on this one.
Not only is this quite the heads up play by whoever this front row dad is, it also comes at the perfect time of year. Because as soon as he shows his wife this clip, his Christmas presents are going to be upgraded quite a bit. First off, he used his valuable courtside seat for his little girl, then he bought her a Metta World Peace hat, and then finally, he saved her life. Or at the very least, kept her teeth intact.
So hello, brand new grill. See ya next year, book he’ll never read. Papa’s living it up this holiday season, one child protecting act at a time.
On Thursday’s live episode of The Starters, the guys discuss the Warriors’ big comeback, that Bulls-Knicks atrocity, Big Baby’s post-game interview, Doc Rivers’ return to Boston, the Thunder’s deep bench, and whether Josh Smith will ever change.
All that, plus mail, the All-Atrocious Team, and our first installment of “As The Ball Turns.”
Shoutout: 21 points, 16 rebounds, three assists and two blocks for Tim Duncan, joining himself and 17 others as the only guys this season to have posted a 20 and 15 line. Not impressed? Maybe you’ll reconsider when you hear he only played 24 minutes.
Not so much: The Bulls got down by 20 to the Knicks, somehow tied it up, then ran two of the worst possessions you’ll ever see before finally losing the game. That means they have back-to-back losses to the Bucks and Knicks, whom you might remember from being last and second-to-last place in the Eastern Conference. The game was so bad, there is legitimately a blooper reel made entirely of plays from last night.
Sleepy: I like the Warriors, but they make you feel very uneasy about going to bed early. You just know something exciting is going to happen. Like, I don’t know, a fourth quarter comeback followed by a Stephen Curry game-winner.
33 points on 13-25 shooting for Curry, who also added 10 assists and three steals to his eight turnovers in the Warriors’ win. They’ve now had six games decided by two or fewer points, which has to be the most in the league. Literally do not sleep on these guys, since you will miss something.